Why Co-Workers Are Some Of The Most Important People In Your Life

Which one is worse: Going on a bad blind date and feeling obligated to see it through, or starting a new job and discovering that you don't like your co-workers? Most people will choose the latter scenario. Not because it's less desirable, but because it's less tolerable. The major difference in both scenarios is that the latter occurs more often.

Starting a new job, in many ways, is like going on a blind date; there's the intrigue that fuels the possibility of things going better than expected, but also a nagging fear that it could go terribly wrong. We harbor similar feelings about working with new co-workers.

Questions concerning whether they will like or us/whether we will like them are paramount. Eventually, we get those questions answered, but one question doesn't get answered until much later: Are these the type of individuals who we can become friends with?

The question is not without merit.

As professionals, we seek autonomy, outlets to demonstrate our competency, and to feel a sense of relatedness to our peers. These are special bonds that can last a lifetime. Psychology refers to this motivation as self-determination theory. We are most fulfilled when we experience it. Our co-workers play an integral role in this fulfillment, which is why they are some of the most important people in your life.

Whenever the topic of workplace friendships come up in coaching sessions, seminars, or speaking engagements, there are always those who say, rather sternly, "I don't go to work to make friends." Sure, that may not be your intention, but when you consider that the majority of your real friends will come from school and your various workplaces, then you understand that work may not be a place to make friends, but is a prime facilitator of friendships.

Co-workers matter, just as friendships do.

Just as all relationships serve the purpose of meeting needs, relationships with co-workers are no different in terms of their function and impact. We can't be friends with everyone we work with; some co-workers make it abundantly clear that they prefer to maintain personal boundaries, but we can, at the very least, be friendly toward them. Friendships with co-workers, like all other real friendships, take root in fertile conditions, and blossom with proper nurturing.