Failure To Communicate - Why Miscommunication Happens

If you've ever talked to someone, you've no doubt experienced a failure to communicate.

 

These failures occur constantly because we hear (the "gist" of what people say) instead of listen (to the details and emotional cues). Hearing is a passive activity. Listening is an active one. Music lovers hear music; musicians listen to it, as they are trained to identify the nuances that escape most people.

 

We can train ourselves to be better listeners.

 

While much has been made of communication skills (verbal and written), listening is the least discussed and most underrated skill (and a key component in avoiding miscommunication). Listening yields the greatest dividends because it's the one that facilitates understanding - which is the goal of all communications. So then why do we experience so much miscommunication?

 

Because people tend to focus more on that they want to say, than what is being said to them.

 

Ego, the need for self-validation, and mental preoccupations are often the culprits. They are also conversation killers. If we observe the true definition of conversation, which is an "exchange" of information between two people, then we come to the sobering realization that non-conversations are not only common, but also abundant.

Failure to communicate means failure to take responsibility for what you understand, and what you want others to understand, during their conversations with you.