Thursday, February 25, 2016

The Challenge Men Have In Listening To Women

Men and women communicate differently. This you've already experienced. Men (according to women) don't talk enough. Women (according to men) talk too much. Both blame the other for their communication problems.

To say that women talk too much is very subjective. To say that women talk more than men is scientifically accurate. Women speak, on average, 20,000 words per day, while men speak only 7,000.

There are evolutionary reasons behind these facts. 

Women have a higher density of neurons in the left temporal lobes that control language functions, which is why little girls usually start speaking about 6 months sooner than boys. They also speak with more fluidity, and more in general. So yes, with a biological predisposition to speaking sooner and more, women are naturally better communicators. As long as women continue to bare children who learn language from them, this is a very good thing.

Men, from an evolutionary standpoint, are hunters, while women are gatherers. Hunters are problem solvers who are wired to identify and solve problems that pose threats, or prevent them from capturing prey. Patience nor efficiency in language helps them in this role.

And this is why the vast majority of men find it a challenge to listen to women; they are subconsciously scanning the conversation for threats and problems to solve. The result is that women who just want to share or vent, get heard, and not truly listened to, as the skit below illustrates.

No comments:

Post a Comment