Friday, May 10, 2013

Why It Takes More Than Having A Child To Be A Mom

Mother's Day is a special day for many reasons. Most of which center on our beloved mothers and the crucial role that they play in our development, and our lives.

Mothers, like fathers, are not created equally. Being a mother is a biological privilege. Becoming a mom is a choice you make when you exercise that privilege.

When you are observant, and blessed to live long enough, you come to realize that some mothers are just better at nurturing their children than others. It makes sense when you consider that some people are just naturally more nurturing.

Psychology teaches us that successful mothering is more about will than skill. The will to continuously provide affection. The will to identify and cater to the needs of their children. The will to make sacrifices for their welfare when necessary. After all, there is no mothering manual or course one can take to become more proficient at the skill of mothering, so her will - daily, monthly, and yearly - serves as both a tool in the positive development of her children, and a barometer by which her parenting success will be measured.

When skill, will, and heart converge, the formula for being an outstanding mom crystallizes.

My mother, who I lost to cancer on September 23rd, 2012, was an outstanding mom. Her will to sacrifice for her children was only second to her love for them. She often said it takes more than having a child to be a mom. As a dad, I now understand what she meant by that. To her, mothering was a Godly duty; one in which a mom's primary job was to give her children roots, for identity, and wings, to reach their potential.

I often refer to my mom as Wonder Woman because it was, and still is, a wonder how she was able to provide us (me, my brother, and sister) with the best food, clothes, houses, neighborhoods, and schools - as a single mother. But most importantly, her skill, will, and heart provided me with the love and support a child could only dream of, and be eternally grateful to receive. She was my life coach, and my inspiration for becoming a growth expert.

Good and great moms are not as common as you might suspect. Truly outstanding moms are even more of a rarity. If you have one, or if you are one, congratulations. Mother's Day for you is officially "Mom's Day."

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